[Ignore]

Not only a group of Delusional Filipino Girls that Think They Korean, but a family of dorks. As leader, I have the responsibility to lead this group to a great beginning. Our debut, our reality how’s, all the selcas, they’re to how how close we are. Earthlings can’t handle our charisma and our amazing smiles. Only our sexy Matolings have the power to control us, except for our stubborn Maknae. DFGTTK LIFE~

I define my life as a self written novel. It seems crazy but that’s they way I see it. Everything conflicted in my life has so much emotion and it’s always up and down like a roller coaster.

Very productive and overall, active. I haven’t felt this sore in months. But I can cope with the pain. I can’t recall the last time I worked so hard and had this much dedication.

Note: talked it out with my best bud; I do feel a bit more safe. Thank you.

*Nobody reads this shit anyways.

I can’t even describe how to express what I am feeling. That’s how difficult and depressing this is. What has been exposed is overwhelming and I can’t take all of this. I want to cry a river and make sure it keeps flowing, I want to punch a wall until it breaks into a million pieces, I want to be the one to help and support. But really, why is it that I can do? I can’t do anything. That is what sucks. This is where I can just wait and hope for the best.

Everything is too tough. I am here for you. I’ll be by your side. I’ll be there to hold your hand.

What’s wrong with me?
Do I even have the right to be given everything presented to me?

I have no sense of responsibility. It’s not known to me well enough to exist. I know myself as a monster. The one who is known to be different and always happy. But am I truly happy? I am a foolish child and I have no shame. Why have I become this way. My family is great, but are they supportive enough? I won’t ever know, but my parents give off this sign that they have given up on me. I’m not dependent, I am an idiot.

Hello my name is unknown for I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ll be crying inside forever.

I felt like such a child. I have this feeling inside me where every second with him makes me go back to the how crushes were in second grade; when you lay eyes on that one special guy, you just can’t help but stare. You start to notice the littlest actions and words he presents. And when you’re near him, you receive such excitement and you start thinking “he’s so cute!”
Today, I felt so foolish. My common sense disappears when he’s in sight and I just loose my self, making it seem like I am more air headed than usual; My best friend gave me his number today, and I touched it on accident and as my phone started calling him, I panicked frantically. After repeatedly saying “shit shit shit” while trying to hang up, About five minutes later I get a phone call and it was “him.” I reacted pretty maturely…. Naw I’m just kidding, I freaked out and showed my Unnie, she told me to not answer and so I ended the call there.
My childish heart can’t take this guys great looks and spunky personality.
Maybe someday, some actual interaction will happen and I’ll be in my own. But can I wait?

Russell is awesome, such a great brother i love him <3 he is so sweet and sooo nice, hope you get better brother <3 :))